it scares me how much promises and words can be turned around in a matter of time. As if these kind of stuffs dah tak lagi penting anymore.. When u believed and hope that what was said is true enough and that not all people are the same.. How u believe people can change for the better. Tapi tak kan? menharapkan sesuatu untuk berubah just so...Astaghfirullah,forgive me .Why everything starts to show now? everything that you believed then is not real anymore, just something that's being showed on the surface. Maybe.. maybe this is true.. that a leopard will never change its spots..

This days i kept myself entirely busy. so damn busy that i have no time to slow down. Sengaja buat dirini busy so that i will be damn tired by the end of the day. So so busily doing unnecessary things just to keep the mind busy.

i know im not a perfect human being, far from being the ideal muslimah.
But please, dont give me false promises anymore..

I tend to think alot, about what should have been said, about what should have been done.Often, you will find me staring into spaces but that's just me. I dont like to show my sadness and i tried not to break down in front of any beings that i know of simply cos i realized, it doesnt get better.When you see those tears in my eyes, that's when you know i really cant keep up with the facade any longer.Im not someone who opens up easily to people but when i do, its because i trust you. I dont know how to be a good friend but i promise i will be there like how a friend should be.

Sometimes, my actions, my sayings, my words, can be really unpredictable but that's when i really really meant what was said. I am surrounded with beautiful souls but at times, i prefer being alone.I am hard to read, like a plain old boring novel with a one word tittle on that front cover. This what makes most people gave up on knowing the real me. Im trying to be a better muslimah insyaAllah yet im still far from behind. This just me; ▶Nur Khalidah Jasmani◀;

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