Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. Admit it, you do..

because of my family background, because of my past, because of my insecurities, because of Islam; because of me.. In my mind, there's so many things i want him *whoever he is* going to be.. i've potrayed his characters so much in my head that at times i wonder does *he really exist, this good guy? i want him to be this, i want him to be that. Too many. i know and its not fair. Im not pretty; for there will always be another person prettier than me. I have too many flaws and i realised it too long ago. So blur that sometime i really hate it. But at the end of the day, i only want someone who can accept me as i am. And for once, he is able to bring me closer to Allah. That's my wish. My dad is another difficult loving being to deal with truth be told but he's strict only because he love me too much and hopes i have someone by my side one day to lead me to Jannah.

And then recently i don't know.. "nak betulkan diri dulu baru fikir pasal ni semua haha"
but i will always remember this line though, for i said it myself clearly ,"friendship last longer.."

Today, I didnt get to witness the eclispe..sad much but alhamdulilah, right after solat sunat, straightaway login to fb. My fb newsfeed was fillled with amazing photos of the moon, MasyaAllah. So nice. I hope 2012 gonna be a good year. Amin


Till then;

I tend to think alot, about what should have been said, about what should have been done.Often, you will find me staring into spaces but that's just me. I dont like to show my sadness and i tried not to break down in front of any beings that i know of simply cos i realized, it doesnt get better.When you see those tears in my eyes, that's when you know i really cant keep up with the facade any longer.Im not someone who opens up easily to people but when i do, its because i trust you. I dont know how to be a good friend but i promise i will be there like how a friend should be.

Sometimes, my actions, my sayings, my words, can be really unpredictable but that's when i really really meant what was said. I am surrounded with beautiful souls but at times, i prefer being alone.I am hard to read, like a plain old boring novel with a one word tittle on that front cover. This what makes most people gave up on knowing the real me. Im trying to be a better muslimah insyaAllah yet im still far from behind. This just me; ▶Nur Khalidah Jasmani◀;

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