When im down, i have this tendency to feel as if there's a million tons of burden in my head. I almost lose it just now. almost. Temper got the best of me and i said all the things i regret saying to my lil sis. I shut myself out of this world for a moment or so and just locked myself in my room. My voice choked and i know if i didnt get out of her side, the sobs would come heavier than that. I was in a lousy mood and the provoke came soon after. At the end of the day, all we want to hear from each other is a "sorry".. and i hugged her real hard, almost not wanting to let her go..

I tend to think alot, about what should have been said, about what should have been done.Often, you will find me staring into spaces but that's just me. I dont like to show my sadness and i tried not to break down in front of any beings that i know of simply cos i realized, it doesnt get better.When you see those tears in my eyes, that's when you know i really cant keep up with the facade any longer.Im not someone who opens up easily to people but when i do, its because i trust you. I dont know how to be a good friend but i promise i will be there like how a friend should be.

Sometimes, my actions, my sayings, my words, can be really unpredictable but that's when i really really meant what was said. I am surrounded with beautiful souls but at times, i prefer being alone.I am hard to read, like a plain old boring novel with a one word tittle on that front cover. This what makes most people gave up on knowing the real me. Im trying to be a better muslimah insyaAllah yet im still far from behind. This just me; ▶Nur Khalidah Jasmani◀;

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