Busy day is here to stay. Audit is coming. I must have consoled myself a million times tday with the "im ok, im alright, im fine." that towards the end , i almost cant make it and just want to stop everything and just drop dead, dont want to go on. I think i pushed myself more than what i could hold tdy  that the minute i stop and take a breath,i can almost taste the soreness and tiredness within .

Tell me, keje mana yg tak memenatkan? Dont mean to sound boastful but its a good and blessful feeling to work with smiley people around me esp my supervisor and colleagues.. those whom im closed with. I like smiley people though im not a smiley person heeh. Because when im tired, i cant smile no matter how forceful i make it look like but because of these listed people, i feel good once more. Like suddenly the good vibes is there again,


Something just happened. Cant people understand that i've been having it much worse? Cakap memang senang tapi sebenarnya semua orang tak faham. You are not in my shoes. You dont understand. They keep asking. Keep asking aand their curiosity is killing me! I have done all i could. Maybe itu jer yg termampu. I cant go further than that because im not that strong.

I still believed people can change for the better. InsyaAllah. Dun make me lose that belief  dear Allah.

I tend to think alot, about what should have been said, about what should have been done.Often, you will find me staring into spaces but that's just me. I dont like to show my sadness and i tried not to break down in front of any beings that i know of simply cos i realized, it doesnt get better.When you see those tears in my eyes, that's when you know i really cant keep up with the facade any longer.Im not someone who opens up easily to people but when i do, its because i trust you. I dont know how to be a good friend but i promise i will be there like how a friend should be.

Sometimes, my actions, my sayings, my words, can be really unpredictable but that's when i really really meant what was said. I am surrounded with beautiful souls but at times, i prefer being alone.I am hard to read, like a plain old boring novel with a one word tittle on that front cover. This what makes most people gave up on knowing the real me. Im trying to be a better muslimah insyaAllah yet im still far from behind. This just me; ▶Nur Khalidah Jasmani◀;

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