ketakutan pada kehilangan boleh diatasi,
dengan percaya pada Ilahi.
percaya bahawa selaku manusia,
kita tak berhak memiliki,
hanya meminjam.
dan bila kehilangan terjadi,
itu adalah kerana takdir yang mengkehendaki.
bukankah,sampai saatnya nanti, kehilangan itu pasti terjadi?cuma yang berbezanya adalah cara bagaimana kita menghadapi.

- Quoted from

My parents they are getting older each day and there's so much, so much things they have done for us, so much countless things that if i were to compare this things as little rocks, mana mungkin can these little rocks filled the entire ocean. i cant even list it down. Deep down,I know i havnt been a really good daughter. Probably the naughtiest of all.How irony when im the eldest. Their countless blessings and doa have make me d girl i am today.

There was once i thought how it will be like if i were to grow up in a family where love doesnt exist where love was just taken for granted. I blamed myelf for thinkin like this because in no matter what condition, Allah has a reason in what He did and He chose mama and ayah to be my wonderful parents. That's alone is enough.Im thankful, really thankful for this.

Yesterday, i saw those tears in his eyes. When i heard it i was taken aback. Yes, one of his greatest wish came true.. but i didnt realised his wish havnt really entirely fulfilled. And then i feel sad .We planed and we planned but He will make it happened. Im longed to be there. InsyaAllah may Allah make it happen someday.

We think so much of the world, we slack and we take things easily. Endah tak endah. Worry so much of the future, worry so much if my savings not enough, worry so much for people, worry these and worry that when i know all that stuff is not that important di sisiNya. Sometimes i hate myself for not trying hard enough to be a better muslimah.

Haaah. Today is Father's day. I almost sidetracked on blogging didnt I? Hugs for my father. Hip Hip hurray for being the world greatest dad! Heheh. *Someday, i want a husband like my ayah can?


Till then;

At some point of time, my blog can be filled with so many photos from all kinds of friends and family. So i noticed. Alhamdulilah for all the good and bad stuffs thats been going on.. im still here, surviving these.. with supports and advices and love from all them. Not even a thank you is enough. You know how sometimes, once in awhile, ppl ask how are you? And i had to reply alhamdulilah im fine. But maybe, they passed that thought that muslims replied alhamdulilah even for the bad things that had happened.. Because we muslim no matter what believed that verily with hardships, comes ease.. that bad and good stuff came from Him. That maybe we may not know the reason why now but sooner or later slowly it will be revealed. I tried not to make it sound as cliche as possible but it comes out the same isnt it? haaah

So monday came and i had the shock of my life. R206 was flooded hours ago and i came to the scene a lil too late. I thought okie maybe its not a big deal like how the clean room flooded with water weeks ago. And then the news came to me and its kinda hard to sink in. My samples, my workingplace was ruined.. okie half of my hard earned work vanished into thin air and im already feeling teary but i managed to calm down. That day was Liu Yao last day too. It seems even the ceiling is "crying" for her.

Joey left. Liu Yao left.  It feels different now :(  Soon it will be the rest of these DTs and engineers. I;ve make so many great friends here. Always there cheering me on but life has to move on right?  we will get use to it. Like how the students keep changing after 3 months and how i had to said goodbye to friendship that fast. We will get use to all this. We will.

Since i always went out on a saturday almost this few weeks.. as early as 11am only to reach home before maghrib, i decided to not went out today. I felt like baking,just a simple brownie. Stay home and maybe watched TV or something.That's what i thought. That's what i planned. But u know how sometime things changed. haah. I did managed to bake for the sisters. Did housework and all that women chores.. Rushing like mad before my mum comes back. All 3 of us. I hate it when she reached home and the house's in a mess and who else will kena other than me. her. and her haha.

BUT Yes i went out after taking a short nap. A big sigh and because there's sale i couldnt resist it. Been a long time since i bought clothes for myself. k alasan but still yeah.. so cheap and TER-beli hp cover again. at pasar malam. omyy cheap bargains haah

Lilah.. she's different. She's more like a big sister. She will control everything that i bought. i need her in my life and maybe the reason why she is my twin. Kadang kadang keluar ngan dier boring haha cos she didnt buy anything other than food food and yes food. But with her by my side, my $$ in bank is safely secured. :)

Alhamdulilah.

I tend to think alot, about what should have been said, about what should have been done.Often, you will find me staring into spaces but that's just me. I dont like to show my sadness and i tried not to break down in front of any beings that i know of simply cos i realized, it doesnt get better.When you see those tears in my eyes, that's when you know i really cant keep up with the facade any longer.Im not someone who opens up easily to people but when i do, its because i trust you. I dont know how to be a good friend but i promise i will be there like how a friend should be.

Sometimes, my actions, my sayings, my words, can be really unpredictable but that's when i really really meant what was said. I am surrounded with beautiful souls but at times, i prefer being alone.I am hard to read, like a plain old boring novel with a one word tittle on that front cover. This what makes most people gave up on knowing the real me. Im trying to be a better muslimah insyaAllah yet im still far from behind. This just me; ▶Nur Khalidah Jasmani◀;

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