My parents they are getting older each day and there's so much, so much things they have done for us, so much countless things that if i were to compare this things as little rocks, mana mungkin can these little rocks filled the entire ocean. i cant even list it down. Deep down,I know i havnt been a really good daughter. Probably the naughtiest of all.How irony when im the eldest. Their countless blessings and doa have make me d girl i am today.

There was once i thought how it will be like if i were to grow up in a family where love doesnt exist where love was just taken for granted. I blamed myelf for thinkin like this because in no matter what condition, Allah has a reason in what He did and He chose mama and ayah to be my wonderful parents. That's alone is enough.Im thankful, really thankful for this.

Yesterday, i saw those tears in his eyes. When i heard it i was taken aback. Yes, one of his greatest wish came true.. but i didnt realised his wish havnt really entirely fulfilled. And then i feel sad .We planed and we planned but He will make it happened. Im longed to be there. InsyaAllah may Allah make it happen someday.

We think so much of the world, we slack and we take things easily. Endah tak endah. Worry so much of the future, worry so much if my savings not enough, worry so much for people, worry these and worry that when i know all that stuff is not that important di sisiNya. Sometimes i hate myself for not trying hard enough to be a better muslimah.

Haaah. Today is Father's day. I almost sidetracked on blogging didnt I? Hugs for my father. Hip Hip hurray for being the world greatest dad! Heheh. *Someday, i want a husband like my ayah can?


Till then;

I tend to think alot, about what should have been said, about what should have been done.Often, you will find me staring into spaces but that's just me. I dont like to show my sadness and i tried not to break down in front of any beings that i know of simply cos i realized, it doesnt get better.When you see those tears in my eyes, that's when you know i really cant keep up with the facade any longer.Im not someone who opens up easily to people but when i do, its because i trust you. I dont know how to be a good friend but i promise i will be there like how a friend should be.

Sometimes, my actions, my sayings, my words, can be really unpredictable but that's when i really really meant what was said. I am surrounded with beautiful souls but at times, i prefer being alone.I am hard to read, like a plain old boring novel with a one word tittle on that front cover. This what makes most people gave up on knowing the real me. Im trying to be a better muslimah insyaAllah yet im still far from behind. This just me; ▶Nur Khalidah Jasmani◀;

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